Thirsting

Thirsting

ALL you that thirst, come to the waters: and you that have no money make haste, buy, and eat: come ye, buy wine and milk without money, and without any price. —Isaiah 55:1 +PAX ——————– If I had to point to the catalyst that brought about the volatile chemical reaction of emotions brewing in my soul at that time, I would say it was the day I heard about the FSU attacks and Ted Bundy. Those suitcases I’d been counting on filled with all my former methods of survival were quickly becoming obsolete. I rummaged through one when depression would come only to find I could no longer push through it the way I used to. When unbearable despair faced me with every morning’s sunrise I tried to open another —...

Shackled .. cont’d

Shackled .. cont’d

“I knew that my heart and mind would always be tempted to feel anger–to find blame and hate. But I resolved that when the negative feelings came upon me, I wouldn’t wait for them to grow or fester. I would always turn immediately to the Source of all true power: I would turn to God and let His love and forgiveness protect and save me.” ― Immaculee Ilibagiza, Left to Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust There have been many testimonies of survival and forgiveness that have encouraged me along the way, Left to Tell, Immaculee Ilibagiza The Hiding Place, Corrie Ten Boom With God in Russia, Father Walter J. Ciszek Perseverance Through Faith, Father W. Aedan McGrath As their littlest sister, I long to imitate their faith; left to tell my own...

Shackled to Fear

Shackled to Fear

The Lord has worked marvels for (me); make it known to the ends of the world. —Ant.2   LOH This is the whole of my desire in sharing my story. I promise you there’s light at the end of the tunnel…wine for the empty jars.. But we’re not there yet. St Maria Goretti, St Agnes, pray for us +PAX ——————– In between the furor of the 3 months since the assault my old college boyfriend came back into the picture. ( I’ll refer to him as D ) Everyone was so happy to see me happy with him. I suppose we thought that’s all that would be necessary for me to begin to heal. Everyone said I was a strong girl and I’d get through it… and I believed them. This was the 70’s before the new...

There is No Pit So Deep….

There is No Pit So Deep….

We suffer all kinds of afflictions, and are not overcome. 2 Corinthians 4:8 For those who may be new reading here, I am in the process of writing an account of my passage to healing as a victim of violent crime.  You can look back to previous posts. It is my hope and prayer that as you follow, you no longer see me….but the Lord who rescued me. Not perhaps from the hands of my physical enemy, but from one much more insidious; the one who was a liar and thief from the beginning– He comes to steal kill and destroy. I pray that in whatever affliction you find yourself, my story will help you know, There is no pit so deep, that God’s love is not deeper still. —Corrie Ten Boom +PAX —————– The medical...

The Iron Circumstance…Continued

The Iron Circumstance…Continued

I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. —Romans 8:18 +PAX * Please be advised this is an account of a violent crime minus certain explicit details… Continue at your own discretion. ————————— July 11, 1977 It had been a long day at work. I was tired; ready to go home and read a good book outside in whatever was left of the afternoon sun. I loved when my schedule allowed me to have some of the day left for myself instead of working until closing at 9:00 PM. It was only 4:00. Plenty of time to collect myself and maybe venture out with some new friends from work that night . The air conditioning in the mall was always...

The Sword and the Iron Circumstance

The Sword and the Iron Circumstance

May God grant His grace unto you all that ye may do likewise succeed in your undertakings. For any man may be king in that life which he is placed if so be he may draw forth the sword of success from out of the iron circumstance. —-King Arthur, Howard Pyle Today I will begin to tell you the story that God has given me to tell. I’ll share it in little vignettes from a manuscript I’ve stored away for almost three years now.. What good will it do to hide it away in a drawer where the shadow of darkness will keep it safe? I’ve had nightmares about letting it go; the enemy rousing his weapon of fear threatening me, intimidating me into being quiet. But, I know what it is to walk out of that darkness and I’m here to tell you…the iron...

Ride Your Bicycle–Use Your Pen

Ride Your Bicycle–Use Your Pen

A 12th century icon of the Miracle at Chonae, St Catherine’s Monastery, Mount Sinai Sister Wendy Beckett’s commentary on the icons at St. Catherine at Mt. Sinai, teaches us about devotion in reference to icons. — “I do not think there is any way of ‘opening icons up to a viewer’, as one can do in Western painting. When one speaks about one of the Old Masters, for example, one is seeking to draw into action the viewer’s imagination. The colour, the forms, the patternings, the meaning, often the narrative: all these can be set before another and one’s joy in them expressed and shared. But icons do not appeal to the imagination, they appeal to the spirit. They are there for prayer. A true icon is as functional as a pen...

Standing on My Tiptoes to See More

Standing on My Tiptoes to See More

My soul, have you found what you are looking for? You were looking for God, and you have discovered that he is the supreme being, and that you could not possibly imagine anything more perfect. You have discovered that this supreme being is life itself, light, wisdom, goodness, eternal blessedness and blessed eternity. He is everywhere, and he is timeless. — Lord my God, you gave me life and restored it when I lost it. Tell my soul that so longs for you what else you are besides what it has already understood, so that it may see you clearly. It stands on tiptoe to see more, but apart from what it has seen already, it sees nothing but darkness. Of course, it does not really see darkness, because there is no darkness in you, but it sees that it can see no...

He Saves the Best for Last

He Saves the Best for Last

There’s No More Wine It was about this time a few years ago, my husband and my youngest took me to dinner at The Olive Garden. I thought it was going to be a nice night out and I wouldn’t have to cook. But it was the night they told me that the parole board had sent them an update on my attacker. Oh, and everything’s good, right? One look at their faces and I could tell something was definitely not right. Actually…. my husband slowly began…No. This is his time to appeal his case before the board and…. there is a chance they can let him walk free. We don’t have much time to prepare. There’s only few times in my life I can remember feeling my blood run cold, my heart skip beats and my body run out of breath. The first...

The Value of a Model Prayer

The Value of a Model Prayer

  A Formula For Piety What’s a good prayer formula to pray throughout the day ? My mom and I were back at the doctor’s office today where I do a lot of waiting and praying. Yesterday, I was at the Department of Motor Vehicles waiting to straighten out a major problem with a tag transfer. Major– like someone’s tag was registered to me and I don’t own the car anymore. Major– like I’m getting sent their toll violations and …. who knows what else if I didn’t get it straightened out. Later that afternoon, I had a carload of children I was dropping off after a soccer game, one in the back seat upset about not having a strong enough team to win the championship next week. His sadness was so real and I was moved...

Desert Wisdom

Desert Wisdom

Already you have been written in the book of life— I have your portrait in my hands Even now you have a partial likeness, because you know partially. ‘With face unveiled’ you are ‘already contemplating my glory’, but yet you are still ‘being transformed from one degree of glory to another’. While you are being transformed, you do not yet possess wholly. To be transformed is to make progress, but not yet to have been made perfect. — Your perfection, however, is not yet yours, but already my eyes see it; with me you already are such as you will be, 0 bride. Already you have been written in the book of life and I have your portrait in my hands. Your face is before me always; it shines bright before me, though in you at...